Thursday November 22, 2012 7:44 P.M.


So here I am with another post on day 2 of my blog writing. I came from home at 5 P.M. Yet i slept till 7 And now it's 7.36 and I still haven't started studying. It might not be a big deal for some people but I have always said a few minutes later. This is one of the biggest mistakes of my life. The five minute later idea has robbed me of millions of minutes and taken several days away from me. It has stopped me from being productive, creative, analytic and what not?

Why O why does this problem always effect me? So I have decided that I don't have enough time to finish tomorrow's assignment. Yes a few more friends of mine have agreed to not give it tomorrow. But this attitude is just so wrong. It's bound to take away time away from me in the future. And that's the time when I will regret it. Right now I am contemplating on whether I should finish that little writing work which is remaining. Maybe I should. Wait ......you know what? I should finish it. I definitely should. It's not good to keep them piled up one after another.
 A friend of mine just called. He was working on a problem and it seems that he solved it.  Damn and here I am still trying to regain my lost focus. People might accuse me of being comparative with other people. But I'm not. In fact just by being the opposite I have become way too much slack. And here I am trying to just obtain a pass while my friends here have been trying to get 80% and 9 point GPAs. At first it might seem like just a passing phase but I have been struggling like this days before my exam to get a pass for the past three semesters. It was a bit like this in School in Std. XI. But at that time I knew that everything was going to be fine since those results won't matter. But now even a single supple will really screw up my graduation card. What I'm really afraid of is the fact that I might even lose my Scholarship if they don't find my grades good enough.

The problem is, whenever I try to study I either get bored and go off to sleep or it becomes so overwhelming after a certain point that I get distracted and decide that I need a break. And then that break extends into the 24 hour schedule and wallah....Another day wasted. I just cannot afford that right now. I look at my huge bundle of physics notes and wonder when am I gonna finish studying?
That is if at all I can finish them all.
And then there's Math.
There was a time I was in love with Math. Oh how I loved those triangles and circles and those beautiful equations. Then came +2 and then the huge syllabus was too overwhelming. I still loved Math though. It was just that I had 12 chapters for my syllabus back then and I was good at solving problems from 2 of them. But then I learnt about selective studying and wow I once again managed to get through. Math was always the subject that saved me.
Now here again I stand at a point of time when Math intends to betray me. I have a lot of chapters to complete. About 6 of them. And I'm good at solving just 2 of them. It might seem cool but those chapters constitute about 200 pages which I'll need to complete in just 2 days.

I always say next time I would work on getting my work done as early as possible. But what if there is no next time? There will come a time when there won't be a next time. It's a cruel world. But it's the same cruel world that gives so much love. I need to accept both sides of it.

Wednesday 21, 2012 9:OO P.M.
This is my first blog post. I have too many thoughts squirming in my head right now and I will definitely try to sort out my thoughts in order. I'll try bringing my thoughts in order. In order to do that I need to ask myself a few questions and then I'll try to answer them myself.


1) Why did I start blogging?

Hmmm, let me think. Here are a few points which I can point out.
a) Because at this point of time I am facing an after teen crisis. I have just managed to grow past my teenage and I'm 20 now. But I feel horrible. I am not able to focus on the important things in life. My scores in exams have deteriorated rapidly and I can't seem to think straight. This year has been a big year for me. A lot of things have happened. But I have become much too distracted by other stuff to even focus on one thing long enough. So I have decided to write them down on paper online since that's where I am most of the time. This will help me get back my lost focus and hopefully get me to do something productive.
b) To help myself improve my writing skills. Ever since I got myself into engineering I have deteriorated in my writing skills. You can thanks my teachers who write and speak poor quality English. I have written for blogs before. But it seems that I need to write slowly but surely a policy that I have been missing out since the begining of class 11.

2) But why a blog and not a personal word document diary?

Well the name of my blog should say it all. I am a very egotistical person. I would love to have a million fans. But one thing pride of is the fact that I can be a pretty logical thinker sometimes. So since I know that my blog won't win me  millions  of fans hopefully it will deflate my ego a little bit. I seriously need to work on improving myself.

3) So what exactly am I going to write about here?

Well the truth on everything. Or at least of what I think is the truth. I realize that since I often get a lot of ideas but I never really follow them through or work hard in trying to find out what's going on really deep. So I am going to write about my personal space here. My personal opinions. My personal life. But I will also write about my so called scientific ideas. Technical details about all the things I study. And that means yes I will include tough equations, hard explanations, logical sets etc.
It won't fetch much readers?
I did not start writing this blog with the intention of increasing my fan base. I am writing this blog as a purely personal space. And my work is a part of my personal space too.
And yes I will talk heaps about my dream. I had this one dream since I was little. And no I am not lying about it. I honestly had this dream from a very small age. I want to be an inventor. I want to invent new things. And this does not necessarily mean machines. Yes it has been a part of my dream to build some new machine or electronic device that will be an industry rage. But I always wanted to do something big. Something really really big. Like so big that the whole world will turn it's head at the invention and then they will ask for it's inventor amazed at the ingenuity. Yes all inventors amazed me. The first inventor who I learnt of was Alexander Graham Bell. The inventor of the telephone. I did not realize at that time how much of a revolutionary he was. Neither did I understand the amazing nature of his contribution. I was just amazed at how he could actually invent something new. Later as I grew up I learnt how much of an inspiration Thomas Alva Edison was with his famous inspirational quote, "Invention is 1% genius and 99% perspiration". As I grew up farther I truly realized why Einstein was called a genius. His uncanny ways of looking at the Universe in his own creative ways and his completely out of the world solution to seemingly unsolvable problems in physics is just too awesome.
I want to be like them. I want to utilize my brains to do something good in nature.

Well time has come to end today's post. Since I am finally writing something for which I am not paid I don't have any deadlines to complete. So things are just perfect for me I guess to slowly think before I write and write each word as clearly as possible.

At first I thought I will write everything here. But I guess somethings like my study schedule are best kept offline so that i can access them while I am offline.

9.59 P.M. Wednesday 2012